See here, you whippersnappers. This newfangled fellytone will be the downfall of our society! Before you know it, you young rascals will be ringing up our daughters and whispering scandalous things in their ears, all without parental supervision!
Gone are the days when a gentleman did his courting in his lady's parlor under the watchful eyes of half a dozen relatives. No longer does the accumulated wisdom of the community steer couples as they try to earn each other's commitment. No — it's all gadding about on those infernal bicycles and going to the moving picture shows. Where will it end?
Photo via Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century. My apologies to the bespectacled gentleman, who may have been a bicycle enthusiast himself.